Happiness comes in many forms. To me true happiness is to have a special someone. 
Someone you tell about your day and is there when you need someone to 
talk to. This type of happiness is one that I have craved for so long 
and still do to this very day. I'm beginning to think I won't ever 
feel this. I have seen this on many people. It's saddens me to think I 
will never get to experience it. Honestly someone tell me what I'm 
doing wrong. I would love some input. But for now I would settle for 
people just including me in things or just texting me to see how I'm 
doing. I'm sure that would help.


Sent from my iPod

ipod blog

Will anyone ever get to see the real me. My true heart. I long to be 
happy, I want a true happiness. Is that so wrong to want. I don't want 
to be alone any longer. The daily struggle that I endure becomes 
rougher each day. I know God is here with me and that He will give us 
only what we can handle. The problem is is that I can't handle being 
alone anymore. Don't get me wrong I have awesome friends, but I want I 
need something more. I'm trying to be patient and let God's plan for 
me unfold in my life. I'm not having much luck. My favorite saying 
that I love to hate is " good things come to those who wait" I'm 
sorry. But haven't I waited long enough. I'm 28 and I'm not getting 
any younger. I wanted so bad to have at least one kid by now. Yup. You 
guessed it I don't have one yet. I recently fell hard in love for 
someone, sadly like the others, she did not feel the same way. We 
still are friends and I am thankful for it. Well kids I guess that's 
all I have thanks for listening. I will leave you with this final 
thought, if you can and are able please feel free to help me find 
someone.


Sent from my iPod

the nervousness of love

have you ever been in a situation where you felt nervous around your special someone. i know i have and right now we are just friends. i am so afraid that once its decided that if we will become a couple or not that things will change. i know full well that they will. it is my hope that if we do not pursue that we will remain good friends. while i am patiently waiting for her response my mind races with thoughts of her, so much so that i have trouble focusing on what i should be doing. i have told her this too. so what are everyones thoughts on this?

random car blog

the following was written about a month ago on the way home from union city via cell phone...i have a song in my heart. a song song of love. its a song i long to share. its a song that no one wants to hear. its a sad song.its also a happy one. but mostly sad. oh i like her so much. y cant she just see that. i long to sing her the song of my heart. will she listen. i hope she will. what fun it would be me and her. i know i would be happy with her, the question remains would she b
happy with.me. i only can hope she would be. i know i have flaws. no body is perfect. if they claim to be they r lying to u. run away from them very fast. u need not surround ur self with liers. they r not worth a second of your time. uh oh i went off topic. wat was i saying.i dont remember. that sucks. its cool tho cuz im writing this on the way home from union city. i fell for a beautiful princess. as i have said it is my hope to one day be with her. almost home so i will finish in a bit.

what makes you happy

as i sit here with taylor swift playing through my speakers, i am wondering what makes people happy. for some i know its singing. for others it could be volunteering. there are a few things that make me happy. the two that are listed above as well as chasing the impossible and seeing my best friend, who just happens to be a beautiful princess and the impossible thing that i am chasing. she truly makes me happy. i can say with all my heart that i love her and she has said that she is falling for me. im rambling already. ok where was i? oh yes, what makes you happy? so i am wondering what makes others happy. in other news...ok lost my train of thought on that one, gotta love a.d.d. and the focus is totally gone. hopefully in the next post i can be more focused. yup the lights on but sadly no one is home...